Were they or weren't they?

As we all settled in for the usual intonation of the vows, the celebrant took centre stage. Somebody should have coached her first.

"We are gathered here today to witness the joining in matrimony of a man and a woman, Santina and Moira". At this juncture, Mira intervened. "His name is Santiago. Mine is Mira," she explained. The celebrant did not skip a beat. She sniffed, raised her nose in the air and continued.

"Santina, do you take Mira to be your wedded wife?" she asked, with no trace of having heard Mira. Santi, couldn't resist correcting her. "My name is Santiago," he replied.

The celebrant, pressed her lips together, raised her eyebrows, drew her breath in sharply and repeated the question, with no alteration to Santi's new monniker.

"I do", he replied, a huge smile breaking out through the solemnity of the occasion.

"In sickness and in death, for better and for worse, until death do you part?", the celebrant asked Santi. With his wide smile, each perfectly white tooth gleaming, Santi repeated after her, "In sickness and in death, for better and for worse, until do us part, I, Santiago Ramirez, take you Mira Schauble as my wife."

After a huge inhalation of breath, the celebrant turned to Mira, and repeated the question. Mira's smile escaped being cherubic due to the evil gleam in her eye, as she rejoined "I, Mira Schauble, take you, Santiago Ramirez, as my wedded husband, in sickness and in detah, for better or for worse, til death do us part."

Her triumphant expression was substituted almost immediately by one of uncontrollable mirth.

" Santina and Moira, I now declare you married, under the laws of Australia", said the celebrant, getting the last word in. "Please approach and sign the register".

As Santi and Mira sat down to scratch their signatures on every bit of paperwork the Federal Government and the city of Brisbane required of them, I nudged the closest person to me.
"Let's hope the register has their names spelt correctly, otherwise they won't be married legally", I joked. The beautiful, dark skinned brunette tried to contain her laughter, as the celebrant shot me a dirty look.